Lifelong Learner #26
Seeing the newborn in everyone
To all lifelong learners,
I reflect on how we look at the people around us.
A thought I’m exploring: What is our fundamental view of human beings, and how does that lens shape the world we live in?
When we look at a newborn baby, we instinctively see pure potential, innocence, and inherent worth. But how do we view a convicted felon? Often, our society trains us to strip away that inherent worth based on a person’s worst actions. We categorize, we judge, and we separate.
What if we challenged ourselves to view everyone, even those who have caused profound harm, with the same unconditional positive regard we offer a newborn?
This idea aligns beautifully with the research presented by historian Rutger Bregman in his book and ongoing work, Humankind: A Hopeful History. Bregman compiles substantial evidence across psychology, biology, and history to argue that human beings are fundamentally wired for connection, kindness, and cooperation. When we choose to assume the best in people, it completely alters the reality of how we interact with them.
This fundamental view deeply impacts our language. If we see someone as an enemy or a “lost cause,” our words become weapons. But if we can see the “newborn” in everyone, a human being who is simply trying to navigate the world, our language transforms.
This connects directly to the concept of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) that I’ve written about before. The magic happens when we shift our focus from “what’s wrong with you” to “what’s alive in me and in you”. By recognizing the universal human need behind every feeling , NVC serves as a tool for fostering deep social wellbeing by hearing the needs beneath everyone’s words. It gives us a practical framework to bypass our harshest judgments and connect directly with that vulnerable, innocent core inside everyone we meet.
A question I’m asking myself: Who is someone I currently view through a lens of strict judgment, and what would happen if I tried to see the innocent, unmet needs driving their behavior?
Our collective challenge: Let’s practice this shift in perspective this week.
When you encounter someone who frustrates or angers you, whether in traffic, at work, or on the news, take a breath and pause.
Visualize them for just a moment as a newborn baby, inherently worthy of love.
In your own mind, try to guess the universal need that person might be unsuccessfully trying to express. Are they needing respect? Safety? Understanding?
It’s a challenging practice, but it has the power to change how we experience the world.
Looking forward to learning together with you. Thank you 🙏
Johan